Youngest Child Syndrome is Real

I've taken a recent interest in the family psychology.  My family, like any family, is functionally dysfunctional.  Every family is crazy, and mine is no exception.  Since I come from an Irish Catholic family, there are a few more kids than in average families, and conflict comes with the territory.  In order to help better-understand my family, why not learn up on the subject...

I started with influences of birth order.

Your Birth Order Labeled You

I found a TON of awesome articles on birth order, and how that can basically predict behavior. 

Interesting Articles about Birth Order:
http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/birth_order/
http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/what-birth-order-can-predict-about-you
http://research.economics.unsw.edu.au/mvidal-fernandez/birthorder_17.pdf
http://www.nber.org/papers/w19542
http://www.parents.com/baby/development/social/birth-order-and-personality/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-gail-gross/how-birth-order-affects-personality_b_4494385.html

The older kids in my family are a bit harder to label.  With the age differences between the children, it's harder to spot the real 'middle' and real 'oldest' - I think it different from time to time depending on who was at home.

However, there was always one youngest child: me!

Youngest Child Syndrome

Before reading up on YCS, I assumed it was going to tell me that I have a spoiled personality with a flare for attention and rely on the service of others.  This is true.

But it gave me some great insight on other things about myself that I recognize, but didn't realize they were a result of or at least correlated with being the youngest child:

• Expects others to do things, make decisions, and take responsibility
• Develops feelings of inferiority
• Generally more playful
• Develops a sense of humor as a play to attract more attention
• Risk takers; thrill/pleasure seekers
• Can be most at-risk for addictive behavior
• Tends to be fun-loving, uncomplicated and outgoing
• Can have  a 'pie in the sky' everything will work out attitude
• Can seduce a crowd with charm and likability
• Creative and enjoy freedom

I would put a check box next to each of these if I knew how to do it in this blog ...

The cool thing is, my husband is also the youngest child.  Not only do I see all of the above traits in myself, but I definitely see them in my husband as well. 

How does this help me with my family?

Understanding that I have all the symptoms of YCS doesn't help me with my family, really.  But understanding the needs associated with the other birth orders will help me connect better with my siblings.

For example, according to this article on large families and their affect on oldest and middle children, I understand that..

"Whatever oldest children in large families achieve and/or accomplish is either minimized, trivialized, or just ignored. Parents of large families view them as adults who should not have to be praised or congratulated for a job well done. Such parents contend that their oldest children should be beyond the level where they need constant positive reinforcement. They figure that their oldest children should possess sufficient self-motivation and/or sense of purpose to achieve, not depending upon them to be emotional coaches."

This leads me to believe that my oldest siblings may have not have been praised for their efforts as much as I have been.  In fact, I can say that one with certainty.  I'm not sure if my folks realize that.  Or the fact that they may very well be praising me, the youngest child, more for my trivial wins than they are praising my oldest siblings for much greater victories.  My oldest brother is a Lt. Commander, and is presenting at a conference this month.  My sister is a nurse practitioner, thinking about becoming a doctor.  I'm not sure what kind of praise they've received lately...  so my middle siblings and I should make sure that they know their achievements are not going unnoticed (regardless if they want that praise or not - I'm sure at this point they may have even convinced themselves that they don't even need it).