I AM THIRTY YEARS OLD

All Caps: I AM THIRTY YEARS OLD.

I turned thirty years old on November 14, 2014.  I turned 30 over three months ago.  Since then, I've
been surprised how often my age has come up.  Have I not noticed it before?  Filling out forms, carded at the bar, running into old acquaintances, asked casually in conversation (yes, that happens - more at work than anything else...).  For the last three months I've been answering 29.  I was answering it quickly and confidently as a joke at first, then as a hard commitment. 

BUT guess what - I can't hide from my age.  Believe me I know.  I TRIED:

For the last three months I've been trying to lose weight like crazy to try to get into my 'younger' shape.  For the last three months, I've been PLUCKING grey hairs out of my scalp every morning after parting my hair (at least THREE each time).  For the last three months, I haven't smoked a single cigarette because I'm terrified that my wrinkles are super visible now.  For the last three months, I've been putting on daily glow moisturizer, night cream, day cream, sunblock, and skin regeneration cream in LAYERS. 

AND guess what now?  It's NOT working, and I'm EXHAUSTED! 

Last night, I went to a twenty-something-year-old's bachelorette party and I was barely hit on.  I was not carded.  I  was sober on the way home.  I texted my husband throughout the entire night.  I thought about leaving before midnight.

You're only as old as you feel?  I feel AT LEAST 30. 
And do you know what?  I Don't Flippin' Care!  Frankly I'm OVER it.  It is so exhausting to compete with twenty-something-year-olds, and I don't have the TIME or the ENERGY.  Frankly, I am actually excited to be in my 30's!  My Job KICKS ASS - I'm a professional businesswoman.  How Flippin' COOL is that?!  (Okay, maybe not that professional, but definitely successful).  I LOVE being married to the love of my life, for the rest of my life, and not running around from nightclub to bar scene looking for randoms.  My GOD, how did I ever have enough caffeine in my system to handle that before?  I love my house.  I HAVE A WHOLE HOUSE! 

I went to pluck a grey hair this morning, and I said, "F#%K IT!" and threw the tweezers back on the shelf. 

I think about my 20-year-old self seeing myself now at 30, and I would be STOKED to see this result.  Look at what the last 10 years brought me.  Hell yes!  Now I'm just going to coast on that and enjoy the hell out of it!

I'm going to enjoy my grown-ass 30-year-old $hit:
I'm going to redecorate my house, and Pinterest the hell out of it.
I'm going to actually cook more things and have nice dinners - I'm excited as  hell for my new hand mixer!
I'm going to take long-ass vacations in really nice places.
I'm going to climb the hell out of the corporate ladder.
I might even finally cut my hair really short!
Who knows? I may even want a kid or something!